Snoise's mum "That bookcase looks very precarious. Oh no! I hope it wont fall on Shimmey!"
Snoise "What? Shimmey's not here, surely it's more likely to fall on me since i live here"
S-Mum "But i can just imagine it falling on Shimmey for some reason. She's quite energetic"
Shimmey to Snoise following recount of the story "Amazing. Your parents must love me!"
Snoise "The funniest bit was my mums dance around the book case as a sort of imitation of what might happen. I had to tell her to stop before the bookcase fell on HER"
*********
Snoise "Haha the pictures are up from the club the other night"
Shimmey "Love em"
Snoise "It seems I'm pouting HORRENDOUSLY "
Shimmey "Yes. You are. In like every photo. Lol"
Snoise "Bad but amsuing times. Well Dribbles seems to be licking everyone in the pictures"
Monday, 28 March 2011
Sunday, 27 March 2011
The Shame Hat
It appears that drinking from midday doesn't go well for M-Dog. For the second time this week some of the YLATT gang have had an afternoon drinking session. For the second time this week M-Dog has shamed himself... he now wears the metaphorical hat of shame.
It's Face-Boys third birthday celebration (!) and a few of YLATT go to his parents house for a party. Everyone is sat around the garden, but M-Dog, Shimmey and Snoopy fail to get chairs. Reflecting upon last Wednesday...
"It's like the row of shame"
*three all look at the ground / the sky / anywhere but each other*
"Maybe you three should all go and sit in separate corners, and hang your heads in shame"
"You could have a hat too, a shame hat"
"Yes! Like the sex helmet"
Later that evening they set out for the pub.
"Okay we need to get Face-Boy wasted, everyone let's put money together and buy him a load of interesting shots"
....
Including;
The Jagerbomb (without the umlaut) - something that was invented at the pub the night before when they had run of of energy drink for the Jagerbomb and decided to get it with white wine instead.
A 'shot' with apple sours, rum, strongbow and something else.
Having been at the pub a while already it's decided that food is needed no-one had had dinner yet. Upon leaving the fish and chip shop. "It's only 9pm and we're already on the chips, this is what we'll be like in 40 years time, unable to hack a night out past 9pm."
Enigma swings around a lamppost on the corner of a street.
"You look gay doing that"
E; "I'm not gay i'm just efficient"
On the way back from the pub Engima bends down to tie up his shoe lace, a few people try to push him over, Shimmey goes up and give him a nudge with her foot but manages to upturn herself instead and ends up lying on her back on the pavement.
The girls head to bed, but the boys stay up a bit longer drinking.
*the next day*
There is no sign of M-Dog...
"M-Dog was sick last night"
Shimmey "haha, the shame, do i text him the word shame... i feel it's a bit mean... but i'm going to do it anyway"
*some people go to leave*
"Is M-Dog alive? I've not seen him yet"
"He hasn't moved, they turned the tele on to see if it would wake him, but it hasn't"
"Is he dead?"
"No, i don't think he's dead, he'll be fine"
"But he could be!"
Texts and conversations following...
Saturday
Shimmey "I haven't heard back from M -Dog. I feel bad about texting him the word 'shame'"
Snoise "Me too, i just texted him the word 'lol'"
Sunday
M-Dog text "Hey. Was asleep all of yesterday so am almost human again now! I only woke up for dinner yesterday then went back to bed again"
Shimmey to Snoise "M-Dog is alive. I was getting worried"
Snoise "Yeh he just text me lol. He's impressed by ur embarassing story spreading"
Shimmey "My stroy spreading... Does he mean being sick. I'v only told you (and the blog) oh and my fb status, okay... lol"
Shimmey text "How did you find out about M-Dog"
Bushhead "Facebook of course but i don't know what he did"
S "What didn't he do"
few mins later phone rings
B "So what did M-Dog do?"
S "Why should i tell you, you never tell me anything"
B "Oh come on, tell me"
S "What didn't he do... To be fair, it's not my place to say"
B "Did he get naked? Did he wet himself"
S "Haha"
B "That's it, I'm rining M-Dog"
M-Dog "just out of curiosity how long did Shimmey wait after getting back before she text you about my night?"
Snoise "She text me at 10"
M-Dog " that's before she got back! Impressive"
It's Face-Boys third birthday celebration (!) and a few of YLATT go to his parents house for a party. Everyone is sat around the garden, but M-Dog, Shimmey and Snoopy fail to get chairs. Reflecting upon last Wednesday...
"It's like the row of shame"
*three all look at the ground / the sky / anywhere but each other*
"Maybe you three should all go and sit in separate corners, and hang your heads in shame"
"You could have a hat too, a shame hat"
"Yes! Like the sex helmet"
Later that evening they set out for the pub.
"Okay we need to get Face-Boy wasted, everyone let's put money together and buy him a load of interesting shots"
....
Including;
The Jagerbomb (without the umlaut) - something that was invented at the pub the night before when they had run of of energy drink for the Jagerbomb and decided to get it with white wine instead.
A 'shot' with apple sours, rum, strongbow and something else.
Having been at the pub a while already it's decided that food is needed no-one had had dinner yet. Upon leaving the fish and chip shop. "It's only 9pm and we're already on the chips, this is what we'll be like in 40 years time, unable to hack a night out past 9pm."
Enigma swings around a lamppost on the corner of a street.
"You look gay doing that"
E; "I'm not gay i'm just efficient"
On the way back from the pub Engima bends down to tie up his shoe lace, a few people try to push him over, Shimmey goes up and give him a nudge with her foot but manages to upturn herself instead and ends up lying on her back on the pavement.
The girls head to bed, but the boys stay up a bit longer drinking.
*the next day*
There is no sign of M-Dog...
"M-Dog was sick last night"
Shimmey "haha, the shame, do i text him the word shame... i feel it's a bit mean... but i'm going to do it anyway"
*some people go to leave*
"Is M-Dog alive? I've not seen him yet"
"He hasn't moved, they turned the tele on to see if it would wake him, but it hasn't"
"Is he dead?"
"No, i don't think he's dead, he'll be fine"
"But he could be!"
Texts and conversations following...
Saturday
Shimmey "I haven't heard back from M -Dog. I feel bad about texting him the word 'shame'"
Snoise "Me too, i just texted him the word 'lol'"
Sunday
M-Dog text "Hey. Was asleep all of yesterday so am almost human again now! I only woke up for dinner yesterday then went back to bed again"
Shimmey to Snoise "M-Dog is alive. I was getting worried"
Snoise "Yeh he just text me lol. He's impressed by ur embarassing story spreading"
Shimmey "My stroy spreading... Does he mean being sick. I'v only told you (and the blog) oh and my fb status, okay... lol"
Shimmey text "How did you find out about M-Dog"
Bushhead "Facebook of course but i don't know what he did"
S "What didn't he do"
few mins later phone rings
B "So what did M-Dog do?"
S "Why should i tell you, you never tell me anything"
B "Oh come on, tell me"
S "What didn't he do... To be fair, it's not my place to say"
B "Did he get naked? Did he wet himself"
S "Haha"
B "That's it, I'm rining M-Dog"
M-Dog "just out of curiosity how long did Shimmey wait after getting back before she text you about my night?"
Snoise "She text me at 10"
M-Dog " that's before she got back! Impressive"
Friday, 25 March 2011
"PLEASE GET ME CHIPS I WILL PAY YOU"
Afternoon musings
Snioses friend joins YLATT at the pub
Snoise; "So what's this about you not being allowed back to the club?"
Friend; "well the staff thought that I was having sex in the toilets"
Sn: what? really?
F: well I went into a cubicle with a girl, the staff saw and INFERRED that we were having sex...about 5 of them came and knocked on the door...and when we came out adjusting our clothing they inferred sex.
Sn: so what happened?
F: well I walked into the toilets later and a guy looked over the top of the cubicle and said that he saw crazy sex going on, tempted to stick with that story.
Sn:...
F: well we eventually managed to argue to the staff that we weren't having sex and they agreed to let us stay....Basically as a dare the girl and I agreed to swap clothes, the staff then said I wasn't allowed to change out of the skirt and tights I was wearing...
Sn: hahaha
Talking about the year book
Terrapin: what was that question about sexually abusing ducks?
Shimmey: I put you for that one
Snoise: me too
Someone else: me as well
Terrapin: what! I love the ducks but not in that way!
Shimmey: the poll was hard but I ended up putting Terrapin for anything involving criminal activity and Terry for anything involving world domination.
**************************************************
Getting ready
Shimmey is wearing a lace bodysuit.
Camel-Toe; (in digust) "Shimmey, if i turn gay in later life ITS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT"
" I think this is the most naked I've ever seen a woman"
Terry comes into Shimmey room and lies down on her bed giggling (already pretty wasted, even beofre the tequilla)
Terry; (notices a ladder in Shimmey tights) "Is that a ladder to for small mice to climb up into your genitals?"
************************************************************
Shimmey is walking back to her room at 2am when she hear's a shout across the street. She finds ACDC and Ireland sat on a grate that's emitting hot air down one of the side streets, and joins them. They mull over the evenings events.
Shimmey to FaceBoy “get me chips”, to Snoise “Please get me chips”. Shimmey precedes to ring Snoise and demand they get her chips on the way back from the club.
Snoise voicemail message from Chucky: ummm hey Snoise (Shimmey in background "Snoise! Chucky's pretending to talk to you!") no its a message! I was hoping that you could get me a kebab....for three pounds....SNOISE I AM LEAVING YOU A MESSAGE as we speak please get me a kebab... with garlic mayonaise (in background Terry: "SHIMMEY!")..well love you and leave you..."
*******************************
Snoise, M-Dog, Terrapin and Enigma stay up talking
M-Dog: Argh I was such a pest
Terrapin: well you weren't as bad as me, i was such a knob
Enigma: I was just boring
Snoise: me too. Enigma, we definitely WIN!
Terrapin: Snoise, threesome with me and Enigma?
Sn: umm, NO
Terrapin: he wants it, I want it....we have the majority vote
Enigma: not sure thats how it works
Sn: yeh thats a bit rapey. In fact a bit gang rapey.
M-Dog: I dont remember the begining of the evening
Sn: yeh you were a little "persistently friendly"
M-Dog: oh god
Sn: yeh we sort of formed a "running away from M-Dog" girls dance circle. It was fun. A bonding experience.
***************************************
Next Day
Snoise text " I have TEN texts apologising from Terrapin between midnight and this morning. I swear some of them were sent when we were sitting in the same room"
Ireland fb status; "Missing: one phone and one dignity. Please return either to B street."
Snoise fb status; "well the "it actually makes LOADS of sense to stay up till 4 as we wont have hangovers" theory is actually kinda untrue"
Hangover cure
Lord of the Rings the Two Towers extended edition. Because we are that cool.
Text from Terrapin to Snoise: Sorry I was such a tit last night, you really should have smacked me one. i deserved it! I definately need some of M-Dogs shame shower gel!"
this text was pocket forward by Snoises bag to 5 people including "random cab company 2" a friend she hasnt spoken to in 3 years and a boy who was rejected for a date when they were 16 who just replied with '???". Dangers of not locking your phone/ clearing out old numbers.
*******
Response to on of the many horrific photos from this night;
Snioses friend joins YLATT at the pub
Snoise; "So what's this about you not being allowed back to the club?"
Friend; "well the staff thought that I was having sex in the toilets"
Sn: what? really?
F: well I went into a cubicle with a girl, the staff saw and INFERRED that we were having sex...about 5 of them came and knocked on the door...and when we came out adjusting our clothing they inferred sex.
Sn: so what happened?
F: well I walked into the toilets later and a guy looked over the top of the cubicle and said that he saw crazy sex going on, tempted to stick with that story.
Sn:...
F: well we eventually managed to argue to the staff that we weren't having sex and they agreed to let us stay....Basically as a dare the girl and I agreed to swap clothes, the staff then said I wasn't allowed to change out of the skirt and tights I was wearing...
Sn: hahaha
Talking about the year book
Terrapin: what was that question about sexually abusing ducks?
Shimmey: I put you for that one
Snoise: me too
Someone else: me as well
Terrapin: what! I love the ducks but not in that way!
Shimmey: the poll was hard but I ended up putting Terrapin for anything involving criminal activity and Terry for anything involving world domination.
**************************************************
Getting ready
Shimmey is wearing a lace bodysuit.
Camel-Toe; (in digust) "Shimmey, if i turn gay in later life ITS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT"
" I think this is the most naked I've ever seen a woman"
Terry comes into Shimmey room and lies down on her bed giggling (already pretty wasted, even beofre the tequilla)
Terry; (notices a ladder in Shimmey tights) "Is that a ladder to for small mice to climb up into your genitals?"
************************************************************
Shimmey is walking back to her room at 2am when she hear's a shout across the street. She finds ACDC and Ireland sat on a grate that's emitting hot air down one of the side streets, and joins them. They mull over the evenings events.
“Despite remembering very little of last night, I know I owe many people apologies! Am mortified about what happened. Am sorry beyonb belief for what I was doing and I wish I could take it all back! I hope it didn’t ruin your night an that you had a good time last night” M-Dog (text)
“Sober? Behaving? Haha. Hope you are having a good night, and help M-Dog get some for me later if you can for me!” Bushhead
"Cause some gossip tomorrow night please! im bored at home and want to hear some scandal" Bushhead
"Cause some gossip tomorrow night please! im bored at home and want to hear some scandal" Bushhead
Shimmey, to Bushhead “Call me when you can. Life fucked up” 2.05am
** the next day** “I feel I may have been a tad dramatic last night”
Snoise voicemail message from Chucky: ummm hey Snoise (Shimmey in background "Snoise! Chucky's pretending to talk to you!") no its a message! I was hoping that you could get me a kebab....for three pounds....SNOISE I AM LEAVING YOU A MESSAGE as we speak please get me a kebab... with garlic mayonaise (in background Terry: "SHIMMEY!")..well love you and leave you..."
*******************************
Snoise, M-Dog, Terrapin and Enigma stay up talking
M-Dog: Argh I was such a pest
Terrapin: well you weren't as bad as me, i was such a knob
Enigma: I was just boring
Snoise: me too. Enigma, we definitely WIN!
Terrapin: Snoise, threesome with me and Enigma?
Sn: umm, NO
Terrapin: he wants it, I want it....we have the majority vote
Enigma: not sure thats how it works
Sn: yeh thats a bit rapey. In fact a bit gang rapey.
M-Dog: I dont remember the begining of the evening
Sn: yeh you were a little "persistently friendly"
M-Dog: oh god
Sn: yeh we sort of formed a "running away from M-Dog" girls dance circle. It was fun. A bonding experience.
***************************************
Next Day
Snoise text " I have TEN texts apologising from Terrapin between midnight and this morning. I swear some of them were sent when we were sitting in the same room"
Ireland fb status; "Missing: one phone and one dignity. Please return either to B street."
Snoise fb status; "well the "it actually makes LOADS of sense to stay up till 4 as we wont have hangovers" theory is actually kinda untrue"
Wo-Sna
Snoise
Hangover cure
Lord of the Rings the Two Towers extended edition. Because we are that cool.
Text from Terrapin to Snoise: Sorry I was such a tit last night, you really should have smacked me one. i deserved it! I definately need some of M-Dogs shame shower gel!"
this text was pocket forward by Snoises bag to 5 people including "random cab company 2" a friend she hasnt spoken to in 3 years and a boy who was rejected for a date when they were 16 who just replied with '???". Dangers of not locking your phone/ clearing out old numbers.
*******
Response to on of the many horrific photos from this night;
- Enigma likes this.
ACDC ZOMBIE!!
Friday at 11:29 ·
Shimmey om nom nom
Friday at 11:49 ·
Jolly Literally wow.
Friday at 11:51 ·
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Conversations about the Future Part 2
another conversation about being sad and lonely turns to the spinster flat/ yacht
Snoise: Dribbles you cant just invite a boy to come live with us without asking me first. we should talk about these things.
Dribbles: its fine, Enigma you'd have to have a sex change
Enigma: what?!
Later talking about Enigma, the sex change and the spinster flat
Shimmey: but if enigma had a sex change he could just marry M-Dog, it would be perfect!... If I was Enigma and a girl I would definitely go for M-Dog!
Yesterday after Snoise and Dribbles successfully cut shimmeys hair the day before
Snoise: Shimmeys hair looks good doesnt it? maybe the we should have a side line hairdressing business at the spinster flat?
Dribbles: yes, as well as the prostitution!
Snoise: wont we be a bit old for prostitution? we could be grand madames though and run a classy place. a nice one though without any sex trafficking or evil stuff.
Dribbles: yes we can have themed rooms
Snoise: it could be like moulin rouge!
Dribbles: lots of purple and red and black lace! wait....thats A BIT SLUTTY isnt it?
Snoise: WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A BROTHEL
Dribbles: oh yes. well we will need something to keep us in cat food.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Conversations about the future
As finalists we find ourselves talking about love, life, the future a lot but you know when a serious conversation takes a ridiculous turn and then just keeps going....
Snoise and Dribbles: our love lives suck
Dribbles: its ok I have plans...im going to live in a flat with LOADS of cats
Snoise: OOO can I live there too?!
Dribbles: of course. thats settled, if neither of us find men we are getting a spinster flat!
Another day
Dribbles: If i dont find a man before im forty can i marry you, Faceboy?
Faceboy: really? why?
Dr: because im guessing youl be rich and I want to live in a mansion
Snoise: but what about the spinster flat!?
Dr: it can be a cottage in the grounds of Faceboys mansion
Snoise: but if your married we cant both be spinsters
Dri: its fine you wont know im married
Snoise: what?
Dr: we'll cryogenically freeze you most of the time and then I'll come back for weeks at a time and unfreeze you and we can live in the spinster flat
Terry walks in
Terry: whats this about Snoise being cryogenically frozen, would she be naked? could we pimp her out?
Sn: THATS HORRIBLE
Terry: you were the ones talking about having a frozen girl in some form of sex dungeon
Faceboy: it was a cottage! not a dungeon
Terry: hmmmm sure.
ANOTHER DAY
Dr: See you on the spinster yacht
Sn: wait so its been upgraded from a flat to a cottage to a yacht?
Terry: you couldnt have a sex dungeon on a yacht
Sn: yes!
Another conversation
Terry: il only marry Shimmey in the future if im desparate and shes rich
Shimmey: wait...WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Terry: yes, I mean... wait what?
Shimmey: ooooo we're getting married!
Terry: but Im having my own bed!
Shimmey: can I have children? can i have YOUR children?
Terry: well...i wouldnt begrudge you your wedding night...
Shimmey: oh thats ok, I was just planning on raping you as you slept
Later
Shimmey: Terry when we are married can i get a pet as i dont think youl show me enough love and attention
Terry: whatever...
Shimmey to Snoise: wer going to get a kitten!
Another
Snoise: if i ever get so desparate I actually go for someone horrendous please will you do something about it?
Terrapin: like shoot you in the face?
Snoise: yes that would do. DEAL.
And the link up
Snoise to Terry: your going to marry Shimmey in the future remember?
Terry: oh god! if that happens you know when they get to the "does anyone have any objections..." part of the ceremony please speak up....IN FACT I will go and write a list of objections and give it to you to read out
Snoise: ok, il do that
Terry: promise?
Sn: yes...OH WAIT i may have been shot in the face due to a previous arrangement, I'll have to leave the list to someone with instructions about what to do if im dead. what about dribbles?
Dribbles: i'd let them get married to see what would happen. it would be hilairous!
Sn: ok not dribbles, Faceboy?
Faceboy: YES LET ME DO IT!
Snoise: sorted.
Terry: you could leave the note in the sex dungeon, hed find it there.
Snoise and Dribbles: our love lives suck
Dribbles: its ok I have plans...im going to live in a flat with LOADS of cats
Snoise: OOO can I live there too?!
Dribbles: of course. thats settled, if neither of us find men we are getting a spinster flat!
Another day
Dribbles: If i dont find a man before im forty can i marry you, Faceboy?
Faceboy: really? why?
Dr: because im guessing youl be rich and I want to live in a mansion
Snoise: but what about the spinster flat!?
Dr: it can be a cottage in the grounds of Faceboys mansion
Snoise: but if your married we cant both be spinsters
Dri: its fine you wont know im married
Snoise: what?
Dr: we'll cryogenically freeze you most of the time and then I'll come back for weeks at a time and unfreeze you and we can live in the spinster flat
Terry walks in
Terry: whats this about Snoise being cryogenically frozen, would she be naked? could we pimp her out?
Sn: THATS HORRIBLE
Terry: you were the ones talking about having a frozen girl in some form of sex dungeon
Faceboy: it was a cottage! not a dungeon
Terry: hmmmm sure.
ANOTHER DAY
Dr: See you on the spinster yacht
Sn: wait so its been upgraded from a flat to a cottage to a yacht?
Terry: you couldnt have a sex dungeon on a yacht
Sn: yes!
Another conversation
Terry: il only marry Shimmey in the future if im desparate and shes rich
Shimmey: wait...WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Terry: yes, I mean... wait what?
Shimmey: ooooo we're getting married!
Terry: but Im having my own bed!
Shimmey: can I have children? can i have YOUR children?
Terry: well...i wouldnt begrudge you your wedding night...
Shimmey: oh thats ok, I was just planning on raping you as you slept
Later
Shimmey: Terry when we are married can i get a pet as i dont think youl show me enough love and attention
Terry: whatever...
Shimmey to Snoise: wer going to get a kitten!
Another
Snoise: if i ever get so desparate I actually go for someone horrendous please will you do something about it?
Terrapin: like shoot you in the face?
Snoise: yes that would do. DEAL.
And the link up
Snoise to Terry: your going to marry Shimmey in the future remember?
Terry: oh god! if that happens you know when they get to the "does anyone have any objections..." part of the ceremony please speak up....IN FACT I will go and write a list of objections and give it to you to read out
Snoise: ok, il do that
Terry: promise?
Sn: yes...OH WAIT i may have been shot in the face due to a previous arrangement, I'll have to leave the list to someone with instructions about what to do if im dead. what about dribbles?
Dribbles: i'd let them get married to see what would happen. it would be hilairous!
Sn: ok not dribbles, Faceboy?
Faceboy: YES LET ME DO IT!
Snoise: sorted.
Terry: you could leave the note in the sex dungeon, hed find it there.
Friday, 18 March 2011
Ultimate Shame and Hug vs Crotch
Wo-Sna fb status;
just saw a girl doing the ultimate walk of shame in JUST a leopard print leotard. now i feel better about myself.
just saw a girl doing the ultimate walk of shame in JUST a leopard print leotard. now i feel better about myself.
A cheerleading stunts goes wrong and and one member of the team manages to catch the flyer by her crotch, fall over and end up with the flyer sat in her lap...
Cheerleader; sorry about the crotch grab
Flyer; ha i didn't even notice
Cheerleader; I should have gone for the hug catch instead
Cheerleader 2; well there's a good life lesson 'go for the hug not the crotch grab'
Cheerleader 3 (who is normally very quite); but it's less fun that way! (everyone looks shocked then bursts into laughter)
(a bit later) Cheerleader 3; I can't believe i actually said that
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Extra! Extra!
Wizards and Sluts, aka. the 'Daily Mail' bop
Snoise text 4.03pm “Liz is wasted”
Snoise text 4.03pm “Liz is wasted”
Earlier that day
Snoise and Terry live next door. Terry is talking to Terrapin
Terry (through the wall) : SNOISE CAN YOU HEAR OUR COVERSATION?!?
Snoise: NO IM TRYING TO SLEEP
Terry: GOOD! JUST CHECKING!
Snoise: AND NOW IM NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS
Deja vu; Terry + Tequilla
Good Aids; "Apparently I am being cynical. Hiding between the fridges is the only rational option."
Shimmey's fb status'
Shimmey "is newspaper a suitable substitute for clothes? spankies how i love you..."
Shimmey "I define aappropiate!"
Wo-Sna in response "bollocks."
Sh "you know it's true!"
Shimmey crashs and burns with M-Dog there to provide the usual pep talk
M-Dog: LOOK i know how you feel...BUT you are a SPECTACULAR woman, and i completely understand...except im not a woman...
**The morning after**
Shimmey "Generic status about the post bop experience. Something about shame, regret, "my life", trauma, death, hangover, inappropiateness."
Poo-face "YOU ARE IN APPROPRIATE. Ahhh I had a very similar experience last night"
The usual morning after bop conversation outside Snoise and Shimmeys rooms
Bushhead: SNOISE ARE YOU ALIVE?
Snoise: LEAVE ME ALONE. I AM ASLEEP. I AM NOT AWAKE!
Bushhead: GET OUT OF BED AND JOIN THE CONVERSATION!
Snoise: NO I AM ASLEEP
Bushhead: GET OUT OF BED. NOW!
**the morning after the morning after**
Shimmey "after over 12 hours in bed, i may have just recovered from the hangover..."
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Boats, Sharks and History
Term is over and although the work doesn't really stop for finalists, we can at least put it aside for a few days and attempt to sort our lives out and become normal human beings rather than the sleep deprived stressed zombies we've been for the last few weeks. He follows a few stories and shenanigans of the last week or so...
Boat Club Dinner
BJ runs into kitchen "Quick i need an ice pack! apparently I'm too rough"
Turns out Snoopy split i head open on his windowsill, there was A LOT of blood. Exactly what he was doing remains speculative.
It is subsequently decided that Snoopy must be given a 'Sex Helmet' and appropriate safety notices positioned appropriately.
History Cocktails and Shark End
AC: I got back from the night out and for some reason decided to go into Irelands room, possibly in order to be disapproving that she wasnt back yet and then i decided i needed a shower. i had a shower in her room. i had to go to my room and get my towel, and then go back to my room and get my shower gel and then actually had a shower in her room. Not really sure why.
Shimmey to Snoopy; oh man, do you remember that bet we made the other night?
Snoopy; err what bet...
Shimmey; the one about the kitchen table...
Snoopy; oh yea ha, ha, still on yea?
Shimmey; haha sure. can't believe we put a whole £5 on it, considering your usual offer of 20p. Shall we make another bet for tonight?
After some debating the pair decide that they each owe each other 20p if the pull at the club tonight and a further £1 if they bring someone back. Snoopy has a girl 'on the go', but Shimmey was convinced she would not pull anyone.
**The next day at the pub**
Shimmey; erm so we owe each other £1.20
Shimmey; M-Dog, M-Dog, we need to get you some tonight!
Snoopy; Yea, me and Bushead will be your wing-men, we'll give you a whole 20 mins of our time
**The next day***
M-Dog; so it ended up with me and everyone who was in a relationship already, all my 'wing-men' had gone off and got some
Snoopy; *laughing* Me and Bushead, got M-Dog, five seconds across the dance floor, we decided there was no hope
Bushhead is getting with the same girl again (for the 4th time)
Bushhead; (for the 4th time) it's never happening again!
Shimmey, in order to repay Bushead for the time he did it to her, preceeded to walk up to the kissing couple and lick Bushead on the face and walk off again.
LATER IN THE NIGHT (no names unfortunately)
(A) is heard getting back with a boy.
(B): OH GOD NOT AGAIN attempts to ring (A)
*hears phone ringing through the wall* RING RING RI....ERFKGDFHDGHFGH ARGH!
(A) to (B) text: ermm....yes?
(B): I have to get up at six tomorrow. PLEASE BE QUIET.
3.05 text (A) to (B) : I did my best
3.20 boy leaves
3.30 A goes to the loo in her only her dressing gown
3.32 (C) and (D) run up to the toilet door
"(A)...you in there?"
and then (C) and (D) launch into http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o complete with gangsta dancing
(A) comes out BRIGHT PINK
Boat Club Dinner
BJ runs into kitchen "Quick i need an ice pack! apparently I'm too rough"
Turns out Snoopy split i head open on his windowsill, there was A LOT of blood. Exactly what he was doing remains speculative.
It is subsequently decided that Snoopy must be given a 'Sex Helmet' and appropriate safety notices positioned appropriately.
History Cocktails and Shark End
AC: I got back from the night out and for some reason decided to go into Irelands room, possibly in order to be disapproving that she wasnt back yet and then i decided i needed a shower. i had a shower in her room. i had to go to my room and get my towel, and then go back to my room and get my shower gel and then actually had a shower in her room. Not really sure why.
Shimmey to Snoopy; oh man, do you remember that bet we made the other night?
Snoopy; err what bet...
Shimmey; the one about the kitchen table...
Snoopy; oh yea ha, ha, still on yea?
Shimmey; haha sure. can't believe we put a whole £5 on it, considering your usual offer of 20p. Shall we make another bet for tonight?
After some debating the pair decide that they each owe each other 20p if the pull at the club tonight and a further £1 if they bring someone back. Snoopy has a girl 'on the go', but Shimmey was convinced she would not pull anyone.
**The next day at the pub**
Shimmey; erm so we owe each other £1.20
Shimmey; M-Dog, M-Dog, we need to get you some tonight!
Snoopy; Yea, me and Bushead will be your wing-men, we'll give you a whole 20 mins of our time
**The next day***
M-Dog; so it ended up with me and everyone who was in a relationship already, all my 'wing-men' had gone off and got some
Snoopy; *laughing* Me and Bushead, got M-Dog, five seconds across the dance floor, we decided there was no hope
Bushhead is getting with the same girl again (for the 4th time)
Bushhead; (for the 4th time) it's never happening again!
Shimmey, in order to repay Bushead for the time he did it to her, preceeded to walk up to the kissing couple and lick Bushead on the face and walk off again.
LATER IN THE NIGHT (no names unfortunately)
(A) is heard getting back with a boy.
(B): OH GOD NOT AGAIN attempts to ring (A)
*hears phone ringing through the wall* RING RING RI....ERFKGDFHDGHFGH ARGH!
(A) to (B) text: ermm....yes?
(B): I have to get up at six tomorrow. PLEASE BE QUIET.
3.05 text (A) to (B) : I did my best
3.20 boy leaves
3.30 A goes to the loo in her only her dressing gown
3.32 (C) and (D) run up to the toilet door
"(A)...you in there?"
and then (C) and (D) launch into http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o complete with gangsta dancing
(A) comes out BRIGHT PINK
Friday, 11 March 2011
Texts
Terry "Mat she wyw wering a sut"
translation; mate she was wearing a suit
Ball-Face "I am sn aruhknk"
translation; i'm so drunk
"My life is basically complete. I need to wear spandex more often"
"... i want to get so mentally dressed up that i look like a 21 year old prostitute version of the queen"
Bushhead "Lashed and laid. Damn im good!"
"House part + sauna + NO threesomes = win"
"We are listening to Busted. Best. Thing. Ever"
"Breasty bear!"
"I'm so bruised and hungover! Ha oh the shame"
Snoise "Hahaha. Apparently Bushhead tried to text me a "witty quip about he bet" last night but sent it to the girl instead! Lol"
"Awww. Wev had a pillow fight with Bushhead b4 tho, he gets carried away and it all ends in tears"
translation; mate she was wearing a suit
Ball-Face "I am sn aruhknk"
translation; i'm so drunk
"My life is basically complete. I need to wear spandex more often"
"... i want to get so mentally dressed up that i look like a 21 year old prostitute version of the queen"
Bushhead "Lashed and laid. Damn im good!"
"House part + sauna + NO threesomes = win"
"We are listening to Busted. Best. Thing. Ever"
"Breasty bear!"
"I'm so bruised and hungover! Ha oh the shame"
Snoise "Hahaha. Apparently Bushhead tried to text me a "witty quip about he bet" last night but sent it to the girl instead! Lol"
"Awww. Wev had a pillow fight with Bushhead b4 tho, he gets carried away and it all ends in tears"
Friday, 4 March 2011
I almost vomcanoed!
Ball-Face text "I almost vomcanoed when i got in. Think i'm still drunk. Bleargh. I taste like apple vk"
Snoise text 1: oh god. she brought a boy back. im scared. i dont want to hear noises.
text 2: oh god. there are noises.
Snoise text 1: oh god. she brought a boy back. im scared. i dont want to hear noises.
text 2: oh god. there are noises.
text 3 to person who had knocked on there door "... i couldn't sleep as the walls are thin, my ipod was dead and a combination of loud music to drown out disturbing noises plus the disturbing noises kept me awake. Not happy."
Following a shameless acquisition of a the left over food from a meal out
Shimmey fb status "Have my sausage and mash for breakfast. Major win!"
*******************
Shimmey: i need a shower to wash off my shame, wait no! im not ashamed!
Faceboy: you know what would sell really well shame absorbing shoes. it could be a whole line with shame cleansing shower gel and shame removing shampoo.
**********************
thesis stress
Snoise at dinner with parents and family friends
Snoises brother: im off, going to a party
Sn mum: ahhh Snoise if you didnt have to work you could have gone
Snoise: i cant remember the last time i washed my hair so i dont really feel like a party
*shocked silence*
family friend: wait....seriously?
*******************
Shimmey: i need a shower to wash off my shame, wait no! im not ashamed!
Faceboy: you know what would sell really well shame absorbing shoes. it could be a whole line with shame cleansing shower gel and shame removing shampoo.
**********************
thesis stress
Snoise at dinner with parents and family friends
Snoises brother: im off, going to a party
Sn mum: ahhh Snoise if you didnt have to work you could have gone
Snoise: i cant remember the last time i washed my hair so i dont really feel like a party
*shocked silence*
family friend: wait....seriously?
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