Once upon a time there was a group of atypical 20-somethings living in the pressure cooker that is the final year of university. Room maddness, library maddness and the infection of a sort of work kycroptonite known as AL-CO-HOL over the last 3 years caused them to develop some BIZARE superpowers ranging from the mundane to theEXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
The Amazing FACEBOY; equipped with the EXTRAORDINARY and EXTRAORDINARILY PAINFUL power to damage his face. Repeatedly. Whether going 80 miles an hour or standing completely still, alone, in a padded room the next time you see him there will be facial injuries!
The Bountiful BUSHHEAD; whose superpower is to provide shade from RAIN OR SUN by his AMAZING ability to to grow from his head hair with the volume, density and beauty of a bountiful bush. These beautiful tresses contribute to his other nickname (the self imposed one) of "the hunk".
The Wonderful (but slightly wet) DRIBBLES; bouncy, happy and unable to order Orange Juice without being given Archers, Dribbles well dribbles, lots of things, like tea or water or saliva. HOWEVER be WARNED only MOSTLY HARMLESS as will LICK if too close proximity is attained.
SHIMMEY- SHIMMEY; named after her amusing, effective but EXTREMELYDANGEROUSdance move. DANGER if a girl is seen shimmying towards you MOVE unless you wish to be ensnared by her veloceraptor style claws.
SNOISE; appears small and harmless, and is most of the time, but don't get on the wrong side of her or she may let out a SNOISE! Even the most harden will back off if the Snoise starts SNOISE-ING. BEWARE has a reputation for evil and a tendency to be violent. Can be found snoising in response to work, life and food. Easily distracted and likes to bounce.
M-DOG; spends his time in other peoples kitchens and hence has adopted 'PET' status. Will either be found there or ends up at the pub. A jeckel-hyde esque character; usually a nice individual, remove his glasses and be fearful of the ANGER.
TERRY; aka. the BARON of the BEER BONG. Don't mess with his dinosaur! Has a 26 point long list of rules he doesn't really attempt to keep to and is suspected of vampirism due to his suspicious tendency to avoid daylight and live in the twilight hours. Named after his patented method of chocolate orange manufacture (see below).
ENIGMA; has been voted "most likely to own a sex slave" and in his spare time reads the erotic novels known more commonly as the Halo books. Was nearly blinded in a freak Shimmey stripping accident. He has the AMAZING ability to travel back in time, which he does frequently but only to play Real Tennis (a game that most normal stopped playing around the reformation).
GOOD AIDS; Her name maybe aids related but the this refers not to the disease but to the the word "aid" as in "to aid". Is generally thought of as a helpful, kind and motherly figure (if only because she does other peoples ironing), however beware as occasionally the dirty stories will come out, shocking the most hardened sensibilities. Her laugh and voice has supersonic qualities and can BLAST through the thickest of walls and the longest of distances!
BALL-FACE; a friend to SHEEP, she has a face for every occasion. The more she drinks, the WILDER they get. She informs us they're heavier, they go BOOM BOOM; Terrys observation tell us that she couldnt streak without knocking her self out. Can scan striped objects as barcodes with her eyes, BOOP!
SNOOPY; never seen without a popped collar, rumoured to be hiding his gills. He enjoys GLAMOUR magazine. All talk and has been described, on good authority, that he's aMAN-WOMAN. Honoured by his own public holiday, named Snoopy-mass, everyone wears their collars popped. A legend with a racket.
BRITTANY; BLONDE. Beauty and brains; but sometimes it's hard to remember she's clever when you see her walk down a corridor bouncing off the walls (after all it's impossible to walk in a straight line if you're going downhill), or confusing her shoes for hedgehogs... Like Pickachu she can be cute and lovely most of the time, but when she's angry you better get out of her way.
MINT CAKE: May be small but has a propensity to mild violence when under the influence and with those guns you better watch out! Urban legend says that when she was born she punched the doctor in the face with her baby guns.
TRILOBITE; lovable nutter...
LIBRARY BOY; known as the boy with the hair and the eyes that spends the majority of his time in the library. Makes for awkward conversation as a result of frequent accounts of his bowl movements. Library sex anyone?
TERRAPIN: Can be quite charming but hobbies include groping and aggravating strangers. Also likes Cricket.
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SNOOPY; never seen without a popped collar, rumoured to be hiding his gills. He enjoys GLAMOUR magazine. All talk and has been described, on good authority, that he's aMAN-WOMAN. Honoured by his own public holiday, named Snoopy-mass, everyone wears their collars popped. A legend with a racket.
BRITTANY; BLONDE. Beauty and brains; but sometimes it's hard to remember she's clever when you see her walk down a corridor bouncing off the walls (after all it's impossible to walk in a straight line if you're going downhill), or confusing her shoes for hedgehogs... Like Pickachu she can be cute and lovely most of the time, but when she's angry you better get out of her way.
MINT CAKE: May be small but has a propensity to mild violence when under the influence and with those guns you better watch out! Urban legend says that when she was born she punched the doctor in the face with her baby guns.
TRILOBITE; lovable nutter...
LIBRARY BOY; known as the boy with the hair and the eyes that spends the majority of his time in the library. Makes for awkward conversation as a result of frequent accounts of his bowl movements. Library sex anyone?
TERRAPIN: Can be quite charming but hobbies include groping and aggravating strangers. Also likes Cricket.
If you like this please subscribe!
