White Elephant

Shimmey to Bushhead; "you're... you're... homoerotic..? gayphobic...? a homophobe!"
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Biology girl; "is Bushead all right today, i cooked for him last night and i'm a bit worried"
Shimmey; "no..."
*stunned silence*
Shimmey; "oh sorry, i mean yes, i was miles away!"
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Random friend, fb status "I need to realise that I cannot drink a whole bottle of wine without waking up in the morning regretting almost everything I said and did."
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Text from Shimmey to Bushhead in response to a question Bushhead asked about stats about 6 hours earlier
2am "How could you!? Yes, stats! x"
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Friend to a large group of welsh rugby boys; "why are you all Irish?"
WRB; "we're Welsh!"
Friend; "oh" *giggles* and preceeds to falls off the curb and looses a shoe
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Jersey's Birthday
Ireland; "Shimmey, shimmey, stay i need somone to get drunk with me"
*a few seconds later*
Ir; "i'm not drunk"


Terry to M-Dog: you are now my business partner
"we are going to open a small bookshop together, Jersey's mum is going help us set it up"
" hey did you know M-Dog and I are now business partners?"
M-Dog: I DONT WANT TO


Faceboy: Bushhead was encouraging Jersey's brother to rate people
Shimmey: OMG WHAT A MASSIVE TWAT in fact i am going to text him saying "you are a massive twat"
Faceboy: shall I text him saying "apparently you are a massive twat"
Shimmey: how do i spell necessary... Faceboy can you text Bushhead and tell him that's completely unnecessary, inappropriate and disgraceful
Fb: okay...
Sh: *muters* massive whore
Faceboy: shall i put that on the text too
Sh: YES!


The next morning. Lesson: Going to bed angry leads to massive irrational anger in the morning. Going in a lake leaves you cut up and covered in lake gunk.


Terry: dont you let that runty paedophile anywhere near me
Snoise: what??? who??
T: M-Dog, first he said he wouldnt be my business partner and then he avoided me all night. I felt so rejected. I hope he gets locked in the room with the rotting carcass of a child that he teaches. 

"So did you go in the lake last night?"

Terry; "I did indeed! I'm not sure how it happened but i have these gashes all up my legs..."


Terry: can i borrow your nail clippers? I have lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: ewwwww no
Terry: Im meeting an internationally renown author tonight and I cannot do that with lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: i dont know where they are
Terry: Dont be disingenuous. Yes you do. 
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Ball-Face text "My life is basically complete. I need to wear spandex more often"