How a civilised dinner with the parents turned into a 2am water fight...
The Laugh Tomorrow gang had all been to a fancy meal with the parents, put on my the university. Having got rid of all the parents they continue to get drunk in the bar.
During the dinner:
Shimmey to parents: why arnt you drinking your port? i quite like it but I cant drink all three...
Snoises dad: Thats not what I heard!
in the bar Terrapin to M-Dog: if Me or Shimmey were to try and make you climax which one of us would have the most sucess?
M-Dog: WHAT? ...welll umm Shimmey, as shes a girl and I'm straight
Terrapin: oh really but I'd *goes on to graphically describe what he would do*
Terry to Snoise: if M-Dog had a first class thesis on your topic which he would give you for a blow job, would you do it?
Snoise: ummm....
Bushhead: I WOULD. DEFINATELY
Upon leaving the bar Chuck pushes Shimmey into a cupboard and tries to lock her in. They arrive at the kitchen and he precedes to push her into a kitchen cupboard, causing Shimmey to step on a plate and break it.
Shimmey; "you're a wife beater, why would you do this to me!"
Shimmey fb status "Bushhead is not a real man!"
Bushhead, talking about his younger self "I was fat and happy. I ate, shat and slept!"
Texts from BioGirl who had been out clubbing that night with her friends, "Hi :p i have fucking hiccup 7 :( x x x"
"my eyes r lik sleeping. If i dont repkmy im asleep. I will see yousoon"
text from Shimmey to BioGirl "Bushhead spilt water all over myLEy BED. I'M ANGU"
text from T mobile "Your text has been delivered to *Bushheads home phone number*"
Saturday, 26 February 2011
Thursday, 24 February 2011
White Elephant
Shimmey to Bushhead; "you're... you're... homoerotic..? gayphobic...? a homophobe!"
***************
Biology girl; "is Bushead all right today, i cooked for him last night and i'm a bit worried"
Shimmey; "no..."
*stunned silence*
Shimmey; "oh sorry, i mean yes, i was miles away!"
****************
Random friend, fb status "I need to realise that I cannot drink a whole bottle of wine without waking up in the morning regretting almost everything I said and did."
***************
Text from Shimmey to Bushhead in response to a question Bushhead asked about stats about 6 hours earlier
2am "How could you!? Yes, stats! x"
****************
Friend to a large group of welsh rugby boys; "why are you all Irish?"
WRB; "we're Welsh!"
Friend; "oh" *giggles* and preceeds to falls off the curb and looses a shoe
***************
Jersey's Birthday
Ireland; "Shimmey, shimmey, stay i need somone to get drunk with me"
*a few seconds later*
Ir; "i'm not drunk"
Terry to M-Dog: you are now my business partner
"we are going to open a small bookshop together, Jersey's mum is going help us set it up"
" hey did you know M-Dog and I are now business partners?"
M-Dog: I DONT WANT TO
Faceboy: Bushhead was encouraging Jersey's brother to rate people
Shimmey: OMG WHAT A MASSIVE TWAT in fact i am going to text him saying "you are a massive twat"
Faceboy: shall I text him saying "apparently you are a massive twat"
Shimmey: how do i spell necessary... Faceboy can you text Bushhead and tell him that's completely unnecessary, inappropriate and disgraceful
Fb: okay...
Sh: *muters* massive whore
Faceboy: shall i put that on the text too
Sh: YES!
The next morning. Lesson: Going to bed angry leads to massive irrational anger in the morning. Going in a lake leaves you cut up and covered in lake gunk.
Terry: dont you let that runty paedophile anywhere near me
Snoise: what??? who??
T: M-Dog, first he said he wouldnt be my business partner and then he avoided me all night. I felt so rejected. I hope he gets locked in the room with the rotting carcass of a child that he teaches.
"So did you go in the lake last night?"
Terry; "I did indeed! I'm not sure how it happened but i have these gashes all up my legs..."
Terry: can i borrow your nail clippers? I have lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: ewwwww no
Terry: Im meeting an internationally renown author tonight and I cannot do that with lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: i dont know where they are
Terry: Dont be disingenuous. Yes you do.
***************
Ball-Face text "My life is basically complete. I need to wear spandex more often"
Terry: can i borrow your nail clippers? I have lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: ewwwww no
Terry: Im meeting an internationally renown author tonight and I cannot do that with lake gunk under my nails
Snoise: i dont know where they are
Terry: Dont be disingenuous. Yes you do.
***************
Ball-Face text "My life is basically complete. I need to wear spandex more often"
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
"middle class white boys"
http://vimeo.com/20150806
Another friend of Snoises who we shall call Llama: *caught up in the adrenaline and charisma of a Cage the Elephant gig kisses the lead singer on the cheek as he walks through the crowd*
Llama: WOW THAT WAS THE BEST...and most incredibly disgusting....MOMENT OF MY LIFE....he was SOOOOO sweaty....I kind of just slid off him. Wait a minute WHY ON EARTH did I just do that?
Teaser for a friends band.
Terry: are any of your friends band black?
Snoise: umm no?
Terry: Thats weird they play hip hop then. I mean I find it ridiculous when middle class white boys play music about black empowerment when they have no idea what they are talking about.
Snoise: what?
Terry: the song...about black empowerment
Snoise: you do know the songs by Kanye West right? its just a sound track for the video
Terry: OH. That makes much more sense
*******************
Some other musical mishaps
Someone: Oh Courtney Love is coming to do a talk?
Bushhead: whos she?
Someone: She was the lead singer of Hole and married to Kurt Cobain
Bushhead: OH Kurt Cobain, the wrestler!
Everyone: NO
Shimmey: what was that band Eminem was in? E14?
Snoise: no D12.
Shimmey: well someones gangsta
Leslie (friend of Snoise): GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME! I was sitting at a table doing my usual rant about how I hate The Smiths and that Morrisey is talentless scum compared to the GOD that is NICK CAVE and I looked over at the next table and guess who was sitting there?....MORRISEY
Snoise: oh my god, what did you do?
Les: well i sort of said "hey man" and then told him I actually really like Oscillate Wildly. I then realised that this was an instrumental track that he didnt write and doesnt sing on.
Terrapin: I went to see the Cribs and I cupped the lead singers balls, he just looked at me like "what the fuck". It was a great moment
Another friend of Snoises who we shall call Llama: *caught up in the adrenaline and charisma of a Cage the Elephant gig kisses the lead singer on the cheek as he walks through the crowd*
Llama: WOW THAT WAS THE BEST...and most incredibly disgusting....MOMENT OF MY LIFE....he was SOOOOO sweaty....I kind of just slid off him. Wait a minute WHY ON EARTH did I just do that?
Sunday, 20 February 2011
sexy grease
Work Madness, Like Library Madness but more loud.
Snoise: it would be all greasy
Shimmey: ooooo *makes stroking motion*
Snoise: What the hell? Why would you want to stroke grease????
Shimmey: its sexy
Snoise: what the hell is sexy about grease??
Shimmey: well i imagined greased up men, but then my imagination went to the grease pan in the oven and i recoiled with disgust, and then went back to the MEN so it was okay again
Snoise: WOOOAAHHH
Shimmey *hysterical laughter for about 5 minutes*
Snoise *through the laughter* let me explain....my cat makes weird noises and me and my brother mimic it and thats what i was doing...i was trying to mimic you
Shimmey *still laughing* you sounded like a baby dinosaur.
Shimmey: Im sad none of our close friends are gay. who can we MAKE gay?
Snoise: how would we make someone gay? just put them off women
Shimmey: I was afraid I'd done that to Terry....How about M-Dog he doesnt get many girls anyway...
Snoise: it would be all greasy
Shimmey: ooooo *makes stroking motion*
Snoise: What the hell? Why would you want to stroke grease????
Shimmey: its sexy
Snoise: what the hell is sexy about grease??
Shimmey: well i imagined greased up men, but then my imagination went to the grease pan in the oven and i recoiled with disgust, and then went back to the MEN so it was okay again
Snoise: WOOOAAHHH
Shimmey *hysterical laughter for about 5 minutes*
Snoise *through the laughter* let me explain....my cat makes weird noises and me and my brother mimic it and thats what i was doing...i was trying to mimic you
Shimmey *still laughing* you sounded like a baby dinosaur.
Shimmey: Im sad none of our close friends are gay. who can we MAKE gay?
Snoise: how would we make someone gay? just put them off women
Shimmey: I was afraid I'd done that to Terry....How about M-Dog he doesnt get many girls anyway...
Saturday, 19 February 2011
"how was i supposed to know?"
Faceboy and M-Dog are in the bar talking to CW, the talk turns to the club night on weds
Faceboy: Yeh Bushhead went off with a girl, he must be REALLY embarrassed about it though as he wont tell anyone who it is.
M-Dog: UMMM well noo.....
******************
later
Snoise: how INSENSITIVE could you be saying that to CW?
Faceboy: well how was i supposed to know the girl was HER? What were the chances?
Snoise: well...REALLY HIGH
Friday, 18 February 2011
The Magic Gate
Trilobite had been on a crew date...
Bushhead walks into the kitchen, in his pyjamas, and finds Trilobite sat by himself drinking beer despite being already quite drunk.
Trilobite; blub blub blub blub
Bushhead decides to take Trilobite home. In order to get back to trilobites building there is a door that requires an access card to open it. Trilobite however is convinced he can open it with brute strength and takes a run at the door. It doesn't open. He backs up 10m and takes a run, hurling himself at the door. It doesn't open.
Trilobite; wait, wait, i'm going to do this!
He takes a longer run up and heads towards the door. Bushead holds up his access card at the same time and Trilobite crashes through the gate
Tr; YEAH!!!! I DID IT
Bushhead walks into the kitchen, in his pyjamas, and finds Trilobite sat by himself drinking beer despite being already quite drunk.
Trilobite; blub blub blub blub
Bushhead decides to take Trilobite home. In order to get back to trilobites building there is a door that requires an access card to open it. Trilobite however is convinced he can open it with brute strength and takes a run at the door. It doesn't open. He backs up 10m and takes a run, hurling himself at the door. It doesn't open.
Trilobite; wait, wait, i'm going to do this!
He takes a longer run up and heads towards the door. Bushead holds up his access card at the same time and Trilobite crashes through the gate
Tr; YEAH!!!! I DID IT
How to be a good role model...
Biology boy; you we're drunk at the club last week
Shimmey; oh no... *covers face in shame*
BB; you were getting with this guy, and then you asked me how my work was going, then you went back to kissing the guy... you even turned round and said bye when i walked off
Sh; well at least i was trying to be caring, responsible and a good role model to the first years... *pauses* oh god that's awful
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Room invasion
Bushhead (about Shimmey) : she came in and began biting my side
and then played annoyingly with my sword
Shimmey: and then his legs were around his head
Shimmey: and then his legs were around his head
"i ate a chicken nugget off the side of the road"
Crew dates and socials
Snoise and a friend are making breakfast and Terry walks in
Snoise: how was your night?
Terry: well, do not be alarmed but i think there is blood in my poo....enjoy your breakfast..
*******************
text from M- Dog : "if you are still awake Terry is completely wankered. he sung to me in an attempt to make me go to the club. Get the video equipment ready!"
will double check but this is possibly the song- The Best Part of Me by Neil Diamond.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-0-WNtRrdk
CORRECTION ACTUALLY THIS SONG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlKaVFqxERk
**********************
text from friend to Bushhead: "HA NOW YOU HAVE AIDS" about the girl he was with
*********************
discussion later
Terry: wouldnt it be funny to start your walk of shame and bump into a friend doing the same from the same building? ...It would be like "Shimmey looks very uncomfortable right now...but dont be fooled! this is her natural habitat"
Terry: I have a half eaten kebab in my room! I wonder what it will look like in the light of day!
Terry: I locked lips with someone last night...Im just not sure if it was a girl or a guy
" i found traces of lipstick this morning"
Snoise: well is it more likely that you got with a girl or were just wearing lipstick? (ref to recent cross dressing incident)
*******************
Bushhead: I feel like you...I have regrets
Shimmey: oh i never regret.
Terry: DAMN YOU SOCK
facebook
Terry: damn you, yellow stripy sock! things always get out of hand when I wear you, and now I have a headache ... and probably some horrible disease
************
Talking about Terrapin: Terry: he did the usual and alienated a few people
Snoise: what groping people?
Terry: No...just being insulting .....and groping people
Snoise and a friend are making breakfast and Terry walks in
Snoise: how was your night?
Terry: well, do not be alarmed but i think there is blood in my poo....enjoy your breakfast..
*******************
text from M- Dog : "if you are still awake Terry is completely wankered. he sung to me in an attempt to make me go to the club. Get the video equipment ready!"
will double check but this is possibly the song- The Best Part of Me by Neil Diamond.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-0-WNtRrdk
CORRECTION ACTUALLY THIS SONG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlKaVFqxERk
**********************
text from friend to Bushhead: "HA NOW YOU HAVE AIDS" about the girl he was with
*********************
discussion later
Terry: wouldnt it be funny to start your walk of shame and bump into a friend doing the same from the same building? ...It would be like "Shimmey looks very uncomfortable right now...but dont be fooled! this is her natural habitat"
Terry: I have a half eaten kebab in my room! I wonder what it will look like in the light of day!
" i found traces of lipstick this morning"
Snoise: well is it more likely that you got with a girl or were just wearing lipstick? (ref to recent cross dressing incident)
*******************
Bushhead: I feel like you...I have regrets
Shimmey: oh i never regret.
Terry: DAMN YOU SOCK
Terry: damn you, yellow stripy sock! things always get out of hand when I wear you, and now I have a headache ... and probably some horrible disease
************
Talking about Terrapin: Terry: he did the usual and alienated a few people
Snoise: what groping people?
Terry: No...just being insulting .....and groping people
"mum"
Facebook. Terry's older sister to Terry referring to the recent pictures of him in full drag.
"Terry -we always suspected but now we know. blue isn't your colour. Mum."
from a friend
there was also apparently an invite on a date but this was dismissed as a joke and the text swiftly deleted.
Fb status
Terry
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
The Diplodocus, the Unicorn and the Pterodactyl!
Train journey to London. Shimmey, Dribbles and Trilobite amuse themselves by telling the story of a diplodocus called "Di-plod-o-cus"
Shimmey (in the style of a nature programme presenter); The diplodocus is in the Savanah.
Trilobite (in a dopey, slow, dinosaur type voice); "I'm in the Savanah"
Sh; The diplodocus does not live in the Savannah, he is lost.
Tr; "I am lost"
Sh; There is not much food in the Savannah so the diplodocus is forced to eat sand
Tr; "It helps aid my digestion"
The story progresses such that the diplodocus has a tshirt with a geeky logo on and a tool belt to hold his welder. He also has a laptop on which he checks facebook, but has trouble with due to his massive feet.
Sh; In the distance you can observe the pterodactyl. He is having a tea party...
Dribbles; with a unicorn!
Sh; The pterodactyl and the unicorn are having a tea party. The diplodocus was not invited.
Tr; "I was not invited. This makes me sad"
Sh; The diplodocus is very sad, he tracks the party on facebook
Tr; "They look like they're having so much fun"
Shimmey (in the style of a nature programme presenter); The diplodocus is in the Savanah.
Trilobite (in a dopey, slow, dinosaur type voice); "I'm in the Savanah"
Sh; The diplodocus does not live in the Savannah, he is lost.
Tr; "I am lost"
Sh; There is not much food in the Savannah so the diplodocus is forced to eat sand
Tr; "It helps aid my digestion"
The story progresses such that the diplodocus has a tshirt with a geeky logo on and a tool belt to hold his welder. He also has a laptop on which he checks facebook, but has trouble with due to his massive feet.
Sh; In the distance you can observe the pterodactyl. He is having a tea party...
Dribbles; with a unicorn!
Sh; The pterodactyl and the unicorn are having a tea party. The diplodocus was not invited.
Tr; "I was not invited. This makes me sad"
Sh; The diplodocus is very sad, he tracks the party on facebook
Tr; "They look like they're having so much fun"
A quick note.
We know (through being told continually by certain people) that the spelling, grammar and prose on here isnt quite up to some peoples standards (and we admit its quite bad) BUT we just do this for a bit of fun, its casual. In short, we are sorry but we are not going to put in the time to fix it.
Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Therefore as we are not composing the next GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL please just live with it, keep reading, laugh, enjoy, forget about all the tiny (or massive) typos and errors.
Thank you and GOOD DAY
and for those who are trying to write the next great american novel. heres some handy tips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFFJ9iiKbhI
Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Therefore as we are not composing the next GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL please just live with it, keep reading, laugh, enjoy, forget about all the tiny (or massive) typos and errors.
Thank you and GOOD DAY
and for those who are trying to write the next great american novel. heres some handy tips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFFJ9iiKbhI
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
"i'm a man, i'm going to pee in the sink!"
Sports social last term.
Buckets full of cocktails and crew dating lead to one thing; massive amounts of drunkenness on everyone's part.
Halfway through the night, Shimmey's friend who we will call Woo-Sna (based upon novel discriptions of some dance moves Shimmy and Woo-Sna were doing) ended up standing next to a bucket demanding that everyone that came up (including people he'd never met ever) had to down a drink with him.
Later that eveing, Shimmey, Woo-Sna and another frineds decided to go to the loo. They all pile into one cubicle in the female toilets. As a result of there only being one toilet and Shimmey consequential frustration she shouts "i'm a man, i'm going to pee in the sink!"
Buckets full of cocktails and crew dating lead to one thing; massive amounts of drunkenness on everyone's part.
Halfway through the night, Shimmey's friend who we will call Woo-Sna (based upon novel discriptions of some dance moves Shimmy and Woo-Sna were doing) ended up standing next to a bucket demanding that everyone that came up (including people he'd never met ever) had to down a drink with him.
Later that eveing, Shimmey, Woo-Sna and another frineds decided to go to the loo. They all pile into one cubicle in the female toilets. As a result of there only being one toilet and Shimmey consequential frustration she shouts "i'm a man, i'm going to pee in the sink!"
Valentine's Day
Radio : and today a valentines day song
Snoise: ERFGGHGH
Shimmey : what was that?
Sn: sorry thats the first time iv heard it said out loud today. it means its actually happening.
**************
Dribbles and Snosie making bitter valentines day comments : BITTER BITTER BITTER, *looks at Mint Cake*
Mint Cake: I have no reason to be bitter
Snoise: sorry you misconstrued our look we werent inviting you to join in the bitterness, more directing it at you
**************
Snosie skype call to a friend
Sn: isnt it sad the only date we have on valentines day is a skype date with each other
Friend: ah yes but i have a plan to make all the rubbishness go away
Sno: what?
Fr: buying all the left over chocolate on sale tomorrow. i found a website. its nut free.
This was in first year but Jolly, Mint Cake and others made these amazing anti valentines cookies
Snoise: ERFGGHGH
Shimmey : what was that?
Sn: sorry thats the first time iv heard it said out loud today. it means its actually happening.
**************
Dribbles and Snosie making bitter valentines day comments : BITTER BITTER BITTER, *looks at Mint Cake*
Mint Cake: I have no reason to be bitter
Snoise: sorry you misconstrued our look we werent inviting you to join in the bitterness, more directing it at you
**************
Snosie skype call to a friend
Sn: isnt it sad the only date we have on valentines day is a skype date with each other
Friend: ah yes but i have a plan to make all the rubbishness go away
Sno: what?
Fr: buying all the left over chocolate on sale tomorrow. i found a website. its nut free.
This was in first year but Jolly, Mint Cake and others made these amazing anti valentines cookies
also watch this
Monday, 14 February 2011
Sunday, 13 February 2011
"you were a bit breast obsessed"
Run down from the last couple of days.
Snoise sitting in library texts her brother asking about his band. his reply
"stop trying to live through me"
***************
Outside Shimmeys door talking about her night out
Terry: so whats it like to be an emancipated woman?
Bushhead: WHAT? shes not emancipated!
Terry: she kind of it
Bushhead: but shes not....(makes body shapes in the air)
Snoise: wait are you thinking of emaciated?
Bushhead: oh...yes...that was it
Shimmey: oh thanks
****************
Alice in Wonderland party:
Talking about a charity blind date event
Dribbles: Snoise can we go on a blind date?
Snoise: maybe...but it will be embarrassing
M-Dog: If you do it , il find another guy and do it as well. lets shake on it
Melon: I want to come to! I'll bring Shimmey!
In the morning: Snoise: I think we managed to drag about 7 people into going blind dating last night
Dribbles: Can we not go?
Snoise: yep.
Melon: I swear there is something about fancy dress that makes me get drunk
**********************
Terry had drunkenly agreed to go to the party as "Big Alice" ie Alice after she had had the growing cake. He followed through with this to a spectacular fashion, although his Alice was much chestier than in previous representations. This led to him being molested and motor boated throughout the evening.
Facebook
Shimmey> Snoise
Snoise sitting in library texts her brother asking about his band. his reply
"stop trying to live through me"
***************
Outside Shimmeys door talking about her night out
Terry: so whats it like to be an emancipated woman?
Bushhead: WHAT? shes not emancipated!
Terry: she kind of it
Bushhead: but shes not....(makes body shapes in the air)
Snoise: wait are you thinking of emaciated?
Bushhead: oh...yes...that was it
Shimmey: oh thanks
****************
Alice in Wonderland party:
Talking about a charity blind date event
Dribbles: Snoise can we go on a blind date?
Snoise: maybe...but it will be embarrassing
M-Dog: If you do it , il find another guy and do it as well. lets shake on it
Melon: I want to come to! I'll bring Shimmey!
In the morning: Snoise: I think we managed to drag about 7 people into going blind dating last night
Dribbles: Can we not go?
Snoise: yep.
Melon: I swear there is something about fancy dress that makes me get drunk
**********************
Terry had drunkenly agreed to go to the party as "Big Alice" ie Alice after she had had the growing cake. He followed through with this to a spectacular fashion, although his Alice was much chestier than in previous representations. This led to him being molested and motor boated throughout the evening. Shimmey> Snoise
Friday, 11 February 2011
We're all Mad in Here
Terry in primark buying a giant blue dress to wear as big Alice from alice in wonderland
Snoise: most people in this situation would talk loudly about their rather large girl friend and this dress which is definately a present for a girl friend.
Terry: Well im just a sexual pervert. its more sad to lie.
*****************
Later wearing the dress and blonde wig, looks at himself and says "well, i've got with worse"
Snoise: most people in this situation would talk loudly about their rather large girl friend and this dress which is definately a present for a girl friend.
Terry: Well im just a sexual pervert. its more sad to lie.
*****************
Later wearing the dress and blonde wig, looks at himself and says "well, i've got with worse"
Enigma eats a lemon
Enigma is bet to eat an entire lemon. Attempts. Fails.
Next morning:
Next morning:
Enigma 11 February at 09:27 Report
Is there any way I can beg you not to put certain photos up...thinking future career wise...sucking on a lemon and all...:)
Snoise 11 February at 09:36
how desparate are u not to have them up? it wont exactly effect future careers u eating a lemon. 
Thursday, 10 February 2011
"THAT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE! GET OUT!
Shimmey comes back from the shower in a towel...
hears a shout of "DANGER" but ignores it and walks into her room...
5 seconds later "AHHHHAHHHH" ...DRIBBLES LEAPS OUT FROM HER HIDING PLACE!
however this didnt really get a laugh instead it got
"NO NOT AGAIN! WHY??? THAT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!"
Dribbles leaves down cast
shouts through the door "Shimmey...Im sorry do you want a hug?"
Shimmey: NO GO AWAY
Dribbles: Do you want anything from town?
Sh: NO GO AWAY
Dr: I love you
Sh: JUST LEAVE!
hears a shout of "DANGER" but ignores it and walks into her room...
5 seconds later "AHHHHAHHHH" ...DRIBBLES LEAPS OUT FROM HER HIDING PLACE!
however this didnt really get a laugh instead it got
"NO NOT AGAIN! WHY??? THAT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!"
Dribbles leaves down cast
shouts through the door "Shimmey...Im sorry do you want a hug?"
Shimmey: NO GO AWAY
Dribbles: Do you want anything from town?
Sh: NO GO AWAY
Dr: I love you
Sh: JUST LEAVE!
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
"reptile?"
Shimmeys night out!
A crew date is a common social event at university, where two teams, on male and one female, will go out for a meal with each other. This invariables leads to lots of drinking and ends up in a club; there are many casualties along the way! Typical are fines, i.e. "i fine anyone who...." and if you've done that you have to drink, international drinking rules (not pointing, drinking with the right hand etc.) and 'pennying' whereby if you get a penny put into your drink while you are holding it, the you have to down it.
Shimmey often goes out with her team, and this often spells disaster. The temamates are bad influences onb each other and all tend to get very drunk but this leads to some great nights and some interesting stoires. However it also leads to horrific hangovers, blank memories and painful lectures.
Unfortunately Shimmy doesn't like curry and crew dates are often at curry houses which allow you to bring your own alcohol. The night begins wine in hand with Shimmey making someone else order her dinner because she doesn't like that sound of anything on the menu. Not surprisingly Shimmey doesn't like the meal, forces the rice and naan down and offers the rest to the people sitting next to her who consume willingly.
"I fine anyone who's boobs came out at practice"
One guy manages to swallow the penny in his drinks. He just sits there for a while bemused by where the penny is gone. Shimmey knocks a whole glass of wine onto same boys crotch...
"You spill you lick!"
"Hoover!"
The teams leave the meal. One guy is on his bike and cycles of down the road wine bottle in hand. Shimmey and friend decided post first bottle of wine, that they should go to the off licence next door and buy another bottle of wine. This is drank whilst walking down the street on the way to the pub. The police cacth them but this is quickly averted by telling them how we live just aross the orad (this is true).
Arrival at the pub and Shimmey's memory begins to fade... apparently pitchers and 'Never have i ever...' followed.
text to Snoise "I'm anest may de got with a reparile x"
Shimmey runs into a friend; "Have a good night on Wednesday"
Shimmey "Ooowww, did i meet you too..."
Friday morning practice, the first time seeing her team after the night out.
"I'm not naming any one, but you, no shame!"
A crew date is a common social event at university, where two teams, on male and one female, will go out for a meal with each other. This invariables leads to lots of drinking and ends up in a club; there are many casualties along the way! Typical are fines, i.e. "i fine anyone who...." and if you've done that you have to drink, international drinking rules (not pointing, drinking with the right hand etc.) and 'pennying' whereby if you get a penny put into your drink while you are holding it, the you have to down it.
Shimmey often goes out with her team, and this often spells disaster. The temamates are bad influences onb each other and all tend to get very drunk but this leads to some great nights and some interesting stoires. However it also leads to horrific hangovers, blank memories and painful lectures.
Unfortunately Shimmy doesn't like curry and crew dates are often at curry houses which allow you to bring your own alcohol. The night begins wine in hand with Shimmey making someone else order her dinner because she doesn't like that sound of anything on the menu. Not surprisingly Shimmey doesn't like the meal, forces the rice and naan down and offers the rest to the people sitting next to her who consume willingly.
"I fine anyone who's boobs came out at practice"
One guy manages to swallow the penny in his drinks. He just sits there for a while bemused by where the penny is gone. Shimmey knocks a whole glass of wine onto same boys crotch...
"You spill you lick!"
"Hoover!"
The teams leave the meal. One guy is on his bike and cycles of down the road wine bottle in hand. Shimmey and friend decided post first bottle of wine, that they should go to the off licence next door and buy another bottle of wine. This is drank whilst walking down the street on the way to the pub. The police cacth them but this is quickly averted by telling them how we live just aross the orad (this is true).
Arrival at the pub and Shimmey's memory begins to fade... apparently pitchers and 'Never have i ever...' followed.
text to Snoise "I'm anest may de got with a reparile x"
Snoise: what? you got with a reptile??
Shimmey remebers leaving the club
The man on the door offers to put a smoking band on, Shimmey isn't planning to come back but demands one anyway.
Next Day
Text to team mate; "I have no dignity, but i have you wallet"
Shimmey decided on NYE that see would give up shame, and that she shouldn't be ashamed by what she does.
Text to Snoise; "I take it back, it is not good to do a walk of shame. I'm cold and ashamed. X"
Shimmey had a tutorial organised for 9am. It was a one-on-one tute so there was no way to hide.
to Snoise; "I have a tute and 9am, I want to cry"
to Bushhead "Is it appropiate to turn up to a tute still drunk?"
Facebook
reply to age old question to M-Dog: Hungover? and Shimmey's own reply "kill me now"
Shimmey remebers leaving the club
The man on the door offers to put a smoking band on, Shimmey isn't planning to come back but demands one anyway.
Next Day
Text to team mate; "I have no dignity, but i have you wallet"
Shimmey decided on NYE that see would give up shame, and that she shouldn't be ashamed by what she does.
Text to Snoise; "I take it back, it is not good to do a walk of shame. I'm cold and ashamed. X"
Shimmey had a tutorial organised for 9am. It was a one-on-one tute so there was no way to hide.
to Snoise; "I have a tute and 9am, I want to cry"
to Bushhead "Is it appropiate to turn up to a tute still drunk?"
reply to age old question to M-Dog: Hungover? and Shimmey's own reply "kill me now"
- M-Dog Yes Shimmey, you did look quite drunk when i ran into you last night. You were also quite insistent on throwing me around a bit. Kind of Hurricane Shimmey...about an hour ago ·
- Snoise HAHAHA not sure she remembers that
about an hour ago ·
M-Dog
I Doubt she does, given the state of her when i saw her.
57 minutes ago ·- Shimmey
WHAT I DON'T REMEMBER M-Dog. what did i do last night?
55 minutes ago · - M-Dog
Like most hurricanes, you simply blew through my flied of vision and the group of rowers i was with, grabbed me and threw me about a bit and then disappeared. What do you think you got up to?
53 minutes ago ·
Shimmey runs into a friend; "Have a good night on Wednesday"
Shimmey "Ooowww, did i meet you too..."
Friday morning practice, the first time seeing her team after the night out.
"I'm not naming any one, but you, no shame!"
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Snoise is drunk. Are you?
Sent by Shimmey by text to various: "Snoise is drunk. Are you?"
In attempts to get through an essay crisis, Snoise had been sipping Gin all day and taken three pro-plus at once, amongst other things... she was a little bit hyper.
Texts in response to fb 'lol' based attack whereby Face-boy and Shimmey proceeded to write lol on everything on Enigma's wall
Engima: "stop lolling!!!!!"
"olo!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Don't make me come and murder you two"
"Right that's it expect me with an axe"
Meanwhile Brittany is on a social: text "Yes!!!!!!!!!!! GET ON IT XX"
and in responce to the text 'nice x' "NICE!X"
In attempts to get through an essay crisis, Snoise had been sipping Gin all day and taken three pro-plus at once, amongst other things... she was a little bit hyper.
Texts in response to fb 'lol' based attack whereby Face-boy and Shimmey proceeded to write lol on everything on Enigma's wall
Engima: "stop lolling!!!!!"
"olo!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Don't make me come and murder you two"
"Right that's it expect me with an axe"
Meanwhile Brittany is on a social: text "Yes!!!!!!!!!!! GET ON IT XX"
and in responce to the text 'nice x' "NICE!X"
Monday, 7 February 2011
"SEXY ROMPERS"
Shimmey and Snoise looking at www.pinupgirlclothing.com . See a section entitled "sexy rompers"
In unision: OOOOOO SEXY ROMPERS
a moment later
OOOWWWWWW
the unified sound of diappointment at the the empty page, completely devoid of sexy rompers.
5 minutes later
Shimmey: what actually is a "romper"?
************************
and in case you found this post ACTUALLY looking for sexy rompers as it seems at least 1 person has here is a sexy swimsuit instead. Unfortunately, as the post suggests, we have no sexy rompers and we are just as disappointed as you are.
************************
and in case you found this post ACTUALLY looking for sexy rompers as it seems at least 1 person has here is a sexy swimsuit instead. Unfortunately, as the post suggests, we have no sexy rompers and we are just as disappointed as you are.
Friday, 4 February 2011
" We got caught by the PO-PO"
After subject meal Terry and assorted people steal a road sign. Police pull over the car and get out and start shouting at everyone about their open wine bottles, ciders and of course, the road sign.
Policeman to Ireland: get rid of that bottle of wine!
Ireland puts it down at the side
Policeman: NO PICK IT UP! WHAT IF THERE WAS A FIRE?? AND SOMEONE PICKED IT UP AND BOTTLED SOMEONE?? WHAT THEN??
later: M-Dog and Terry " we got caught by the PO-PO! the PO-PO!
The carrying of the road sign was later named "the pilgrimage of grace"
FB statuses
Terry: analysis: witnessed a rare midget but never mind, curry house, lost a bit of momentum once the pilgrimage of grace was stopped and warned by the police, invented the superlongstrawsneakyboozeextractordevice (the fools never saw it coming), betrayed in spoons, probs shoudn't have mixed tequila, cocktails, cider and wine. Sumary: feel a bit rough, lucky not to have an official caution and men are most definitely at work!
Snoise attempting to text Bushhead but instead texted friend of the same name who we shall call Leslie.
Snoise: are you coming out?
Leslie: Im in norwich so im assuming your texting the wrong person. Btw you never called me back!
Snoise: everyones coming back to the building. have fun with your girl.
Leslie: AND YOU CAN START FUCKING TEXTING THE RIGHT PERSON!!!!
Snoise: and you can start liking the smiths
Les: well im going to listen to kesha how do you like that?
Sn: definately. Epitome of style.
Les: pimping aint easy
Sn: I bet it aint. Dr Dre should give you inspiration.
Les: Baby, crunk is most assuredly not dead
Sn: Indeed Crunkk is the shizz...Btw I did realise I was texting you by accident
Les: you owe me a phonecall madame
Sn: i was going to call you but couldnt be bothered
Les: im flattered
Sn: you should be. Ur depressed and need to talk to someone.
Les: i just have an essay to write and fuck that
Sn: the other NAME (bushhead) is off with a second year. not as bad as a 17 year old. you guys like them young
Les: well at least us NAMEs are working vaguely in tandem.
Policeman to Ireland: get rid of that bottle of wine!
Ireland puts it down at the side
Policeman: NO PICK IT UP! WHAT IF THERE WAS A FIRE?? AND SOMEONE PICKED IT UP AND BOTTLED SOMEONE?? WHAT THEN??
later: M-Dog and Terry " we got caught by the PO-PO! the PO-PO!
The carrying of the road sign was later named "the pilgrimage of grace"
FB statuses
Terry: analysis: witnessed a rare midget but never mind, curry house, lost a bit of momentum once the pilgrimage of grace was stopped and warned by the police, invented the superlongstrawsneakyboozeextractordevice (the fools never saw it coming), betrayed in spoons, probs shoudn't have mixed tequila, cocktails, cider and wine. Sumary: feel a bit rough, lucky not to have an official caution and men are most definitely at work!
Another Person present
I'm still annoyed at the luck of the Pilgrimage of Grace (featuring a roadworks sign) to be stamped down on by the local militia so soon. Luckily, ringleaders y were merely given a stern talking too. The banner of Christ (doing roadworks) can now be seen on W Street.
******************************************************
Snoise to Terry: How was the club
Terry: umm...shiny and vague. with a wall.
Terry: it was a midget with wheels instead of feet and I saw him (although, looking back, it may have been a child on a bicycle). currently going through texts for some answers to some questions
****************************************
Snoise attempting to text Bushhead but instead texted friend of the same name who we shall call Leslie.
Snoise: are you coming out?
Leslie: Im in norwich so im assuming your texting the wrong person. Btw you never called me back!
Snoise: everyones coming back to the building. have fun with your girl.
Leslie: AND YOU CAN START FUCKING TEXTING THE RIGHT PERSON!!!!
Snoise: and you can start liking the smiths
Les: well im going to listen to kesha how do you like that?
Sn: definately. Epitome of style.
Les: pimping aint easy
Sn: I bet it aint. Dr Dre should give you inspiration.
Les: Baby, crunk is most assuredly not dead
Sn: Indeed Crunkk is the shizz...Btw I did realise I was texting you by accident
Les: you owe me a phonecall madame
Sn: i was going to call you but couldnt be bothered
Les: im flattered
Sn: you should be. Ur depressed and need to talk to someone.
Les: i just have an essay to write and fuck that
Sn: the other NAME (bushhead) is off with a second year. not as bad as a 17 year old. you guys like them young
Les: well at least us NAMEs are working vaguely in tandem.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)