"you dont know what its like to own an orchard!"

After a night out Snoise and her friend visiting from home go back to M building. They then see Shimmey who had disappeared from the club wearing an entirely new outfit about to come back out again.

Snoise: What???What happened to you?
Shimmey: eeerrrmmmmm

They go inside and fix themselves some food. Unfortunately they wake Camel up. Camel comes out holding a roll of DUCK TAPE.
Camel: dont make me use this!
Shimmey: PLEASE!

Camel leaves
Snoise: what the hell?? and why did you say please?
Shimmey: I meant someone should do something to shut me up





***********************
Some of the gang head out to Society cocktails. A classy affair with champagne and jazz and a chocolate fountains. And like any evening with free booze it inevitably ends with staggering to a wetherspoons and then a trashy club.

Terry: I'm a bit merry (drunk)
Dribbles: are you as merry as  Scrooge on christmas eve after the visits from the 3 ghosts?
Terry: Indeed I am, though I wouldnt have given that orchard so much money!
Snoise: Orchard??? what??
Terry: I mean orphan!
Snoise: they arnt very similar are they an orchard and an orphan?
Terry: you dont know whats its like to own an orchard!

*
Chuck: when I walk down the street all the guys think "I want to be him" and all the girls think " I want to be with him"
Dribbles: Yes I wake up every morning thinking why cant I just be with Chuck
Chuck: What???
Dribbles: nothing, nothing
*

Snoise (to Enigma) : I know this is very inappropriate but the other day Shimmey and I were talking about your sex life...
Enigma: what??? that must have been a short conversation
Snoise: well you know when you hear a few pieces of stories and then mix them up? Shimmey had it in her head you'd slept with an italian prostitute dressed as a police woman in a swimming pool...
Enigma: what??? hahaha, thats definately untrue. and there was no prostitute... at least I hope not
Snoise: I'll have to to text shimmey * text to Shimmey " ENIGMA SAYS IT WASNT A PROSTITUTE"

*
Trilobite: I feel like I'm in the 1930s (because of the jazz music in the background)..."oh darling I'm so sorry I have to go"
Dribbles: come back to me darling! come back to me!


********************
after wards they go to spoons and Snoise pennies Enigma
Enigma: Im not doing it
Snoise: come on!
Enigma: no
Snoise: dont be such a pussy
Enigma *staring in shock*: I cant believe you just said that!
Snoise (to Dribbles): it always works, call a guy a pussy and you can always get them to down their drink
Trilobite (in a "womans" voice : ooohhhh I'm Enigma and I dont down drinks because Im a lllllaaaaaddddddyyyyyyy
Enigma: FINE.
*
M-Dog: do you guys want another drink?
Snosie and Enigma: yes please
*M-Dog goes to the bar and pays for the drink*: wait a minute!!! I just bought Snoise and Enigma drinks and Im not going to sleep with either of them! what am i doing?!
*

Enigma: Snoise has no pennies left, shes impotent!
Snoise: well you would know all about impotency wouldnt you?
************

The group get back to M building
M-Dog: what the hell is that???

The group see a rain poncho with a jumper inside it with the face space being filled with a picture of Bushhead, hung from the ceiling


Terrapin: its the ghost of Bushhead! ohhh...I miss him

Wining and Dinning with the Historians

Ireland, M-Dog, Snoise and Terry as well as others have their finalist meal with their tutors.


Ireland's best quotes of the evening


Snoise: Ireland...are you already drunk?
Ireland: i've been drunk since 1 pm when I went to the pub. Then we stole the pimms from the picnic and it was amazing!


Ireland to Tutor: So would you consider this the pinacle of your career?
why did you choose to teach here?
So would you say your parents forced your into it or your were just shaped by them?

Tutor: well in 1992 when my father passed over..
Ireland: to cambridge?
Tutor: no...he died

KS: one of our tutors was really weird, he kept telling us about the scale of bisexuality...
Terry: dont get Ireland started...
Ireland: KS your tutor was absolutely right! there is a large middle ground but everyone is basically bisexual. *turns to history lad* you look uncomfortable, unsure of your place on the spectrum?
History lad: no. no Im not.

and the end quote for the evening
Terry: well M-Dog wants to spend his life having one on one time with 17 year old girls...
Tutor: may have to have an open door policy
M-Dog: thanks for that terry

*getting out of the dinner*
Snoise: Terry you should win a prize for making the leaving note of dinner the insinuation that M-Dog is a paedophile

Post Exams

Dribbles and Shimmey finish their exams and go home to wash all the alcohol, silly string and confetti off before going out to celebrate. Dribbles is shocked to find Shimmey has beaten her to the shower so wonders about in her towel until spotting Brittany, Snoise, Bushhead and Terry standing in the door way to the kitchen. She flashes them and runs away.  They stand there shocked. Somebody "what just happened?"

********
Shimmey and Dribbles getting back from their celebrations
Dribbles: your drunk!
Shimmey: no your drunk!
Dribbles: your the one thats cough-burping!
Shimmey: no im not im hic-laughing!

Faceboys shirt says If you can read this you need another drink
Shimmey: i can read your shirt.....it says.....SOMETHING!

*******
Terry on finishing exams comes back with half an egg stuck in his hair.

Terry: I have done my washing so...THE BLACK SOCKS OF ANONYMITY WILL BE GONE AND THE YELLOW STRIPY SOCK OF INJUSTICE WILL RISE AGAIN!

****
the next day
Terry is drunk and on his way out the door

Terry: STAY COOL GUYS *thumbs up and winks at everyone*

Terry to Snoise: you should have sex with Terrapin
*later*: you should make out with Dribbles
*Laterer*: you and faceboy should go out

*************
Still in exams

Dribbles to Snoise: you look so sad and pathetic in your dressing gown
Snoise: what are you talking about? all the most awesome people always wear dressing gowns, like....ARTHUR DENT.

Snoise: and then I started getting caffeine hallucinations
Leslie: Oh i had those once.....oh wait those were hallucogenic drugs
Snoise: i need to stop telling people about the caffeine hallucinations...it seems to scare people for some reason

**********
Snoises birthday lunch

Enigma: Im in a room full of women and cake its like being at the WI
Good Aids: youv been to the WI!?
Enigma: No! ummm......I...just said its...like...the WI

Good Aids: i need to go work
Snoise: but why work when you could sit their imagining Enigma in a french aids costume?
*GoodAids spits out her drink*: I dont know if I wanted those images thanks

Snoise to Snoopy jokingly: would you join Enigma in wearing a french maids out fit
Snoopy deadpan: I would just look so much better in it though...it would be an unfair comparison

Enigma and Shimmey have a blueberry eating contest Shimmey winning at 28 Enigma a close second at 27. However Shimmey had to spit them out. this lead to a lot of the inevitable spitting and swallowing jokes.

Enigma: new challenge *pushes the box of strawberries at Shimmey*
Shimmey: no! its too big to fit in my mouth
*sniggering*
Shimmey: fine! * manages 3 strawberries before running off to spit them out*

************

Snoise text to Shimmey: Stuck in the longest traffic jam evvvvverrrr
Shimmey: well iv been in A&E for 3 hours with Dribbles
Snoise: what happened??
Shimmey: she had her tutors meal. then she drunkenly fell down the stairs. Shes broken her hand.

Dressing up

Snoise to Library boy:  when I think of you i always think of u wearing a grey jumper.
Library boy: so you think of me wearing clothes then?
Enigma: any other clothes?
Snoise: yes! grey jumper, tracksuit bottoms, flip flops. that is my image of you.
Library boy: my image of you is in a nurses outfit...

M-Dog: if someone got you a nurses out fit to wear after exams would you do it?
Snoise: if i was drunk enough. Oh god what have i just agreed to.
Library boy: you little devil
Snoise: hahaha not in public LB. Ok I will wear the outfit if the others have to as well
Enigma: so what Terry in a doctors out fit and M-dog....in a french maids outfit?
Snoise : I cannot imagine you and Faceboy actually buying those. Just casually strolling around Anne summers.
Faceboy: yeh be a bit awkward. "I would like a french maids outfit" "what size" about my height, my weight...ITS NOT FOR ME"


Terry to Snoise: look over there
Snoise: no
M-Dog: the guy over there has a beer bum
Snoise: i am not looking!
Terry: but i have stared into the abyss and found truth.

and the winners are....

We got our year books the other day. the thing that we will look at fondly, those who dont know us too well will remember us by...and this is what happened

despite Snoise being a photo editor and trying to save him from it, there is a picture of terry dressed as Alice in Wonderland.

The YLATT gang did pretty well at the most likely tos. following awards were won, voting taking place out 100 or so people (though how many voted is debatable)

Most Likely to start a cult: Faceboy
Most Likely to attempt world domination: Terry
Most Likely to Be a future world leader : Library Boy
Funniest Person: Trilbite
Most embarrassing drunk: Shimmey
Most likely to avoid employment: Snoise
Most likely to return as a porter: Terapin
Most Likely to return as the head of college: Enigma


Snoise: oh great out of our whole year I got voted most unemployable along with the druggie boy who dropped out. great tome of confidence from my collegues.
Dribbles: oh I voted for you for that

Shimmey: i cant beleive im the most embarrassing drunk!
Snoise: yeh you beat the girl who threw up in a sleeping bag and wet herself on the dance floor
Shimmey: Oh god! what are my parents going to think!