Faceboy "like "Bridge-End""

Bushhead "how was I texting Cat Woman last night. I didn't even have her number! How did i get that"
Shimmey * hysterical laughter*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snoise 28 January at 13:01

how is there only one new quote from the blog? have you not done it yet or was last night a bit of an amusing incident fail?

Shimmey 28 January at 13:02

amusing incident fail. well Enigma was hilarious, but nothing to write particularly

Shimmey 28 January at 13:54

Enigma threw up on himself before even getting to the club...

Snoise 28 January at 14:02

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Shimmey 28 January at 14:02 

anythng else amusing happen?

Snoise 28 January at 14:12

no it really didn't

Shimmey 28 January at 17:06

me and Dribbles licked Bushhead's toastie so he couldn't eat it and he proceeded to eat 3/4 of a massive crumble, a cheese toastie, a bowl of cereal and a yoghurt

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Enigma I hate you...that much vodka gone!
7 hours ago · Like · Comment · See friendship
Face-boy Don't blame me. you drank it.
7 hours ago · Like
Enigma and you spiked it!
7 hours ago · Like
Face-boy that was Snoopy actually. I was spiking M-Dog's (who was fine if I remember correctly)
4 hours ago · Like
Enigma hmmm...they say twas you...
4 hours ago · Like
Face-boy hmmm, maybe once then. I apologise.
3 hours ago · Like
Enigma haha, you are right though I'm just an idiot around vodka...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Face-boy > Enigma

So M-Dog's bed is better than yours is it?

15 hours ago · Like · Comment · See friendship

         Face-boy And you're refusing to leave it?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Bushhead "i felt soo many guys arses last night"


to put it in context, Bushhead decided it would be funny to slap the arses of every guy next to Shimmey, so he could laugh at the awkward moment that followed



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And to end the night, M-Dog and Face-Boy left Enigma behind in the club by him self, barely able to stand on his own; what lovely boys.

We Know He's Just Doing it for Attention...

but anyway, Enigma, a keen follower of YLATT has started recording amusing quotes in his fb status. We really shouldn't humour him by putting them up as they are technically "hearsay" but what the hell, they are kinda funny.


Here's the fb status content of today alone


M-DOG - "Can we stop talking about my daddy's sauce now!?"


'is now a "female lesbian rapist, with a sex slave" apperently...I need new friends...'


‎'"is it wrong to lick your thumb out?" - Snoopy.
have fun bloggers'








definate points for keeness Enigma. 

No! Not this time!

Face-Boy "So Snoopy is going to end up with a man..."
Snoise and Shimmey point at Bushhead
Bushhead "No! Not this time!"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dribbles is suffering from library fever...

11am (the room gets lighter because the sun come out from behind a could) Dribbles "is that the moon?"

Shimmey "I think, given that it's the middle of the day, it is, in fact, the sun"

you MUST go home NOW

Friend of Shimmey's facebook status 

"imagine being sick in the bushes on the riverside walkway near the clubs, when a torchbeam lights on you, and you look round to find NINE policemen in a semicircle around you shouting "you MUST go home NOW." and replying "no, i MUST go to bridge!". i don't need to imagine.

You're the kind of guy that becomes a rapist when you're 40

Enigma's facebook status :' ‎"You're the kind of guy that becomes a rapist when you're 40" - Snoopy,
Thanks Snoopy. '

• SNOISE
  you really have developed the persona of a sex pervert in the eyes of your friends.
  

  38 minutes ago · 

  
  
• ENIGMA
  yeah with friends like these...
  

  35 minutes ago · 
• CAMEL TOE
  

   I don't think you'll become a rapist.
  

  13 minutes ago · 
• ENIGMA
  

  awww thanks Camel Toe, I'm touched O_O
  

  9 minutes ago · 
• CAMEL TOE
  

  As long as you're only touching yourself, that's fine.
  

  2 minutes ago · 

Yetti Hunting

Its still early days but Dribbles first report from her clans ritualistic hunting of the yetti is that it is "Hdkjjo wepy gtqp goñd awesome" though we suspect this report to be exaggerated. Hopefully more to come.


11.30 Snoise opens her door hearing uneven footsteps. Finds Dribbles about to knock but taken aback by the door opening falls on the floor.

Rolls around on the floor for a bit reaching for Faceboy's feet yelling "give me feet! i want the feet!"

Later "toes! i want toes! i have them but i cant see them!"

Is imprisoned in a box made of chairs by Snoise and Faceboy so Dribbles can sit at the table without falling on the floor.

Word association Terry points at Bushhead:  "TWAT".

To Snoise: Can I be you? I like your face.

To Terry: I like the wall...because its like your face.

Eye of the Tiger

Unfortunately the gang have all been quite busy with there various tasks this week so no drunken antics as of yet (though with Dribbles out tonight there may be some amusement later). However we are a mad lot, work especially tends to turn the insanity dial up to eleven.

Shimmey so excited by the tiger onesie passed down from Faceboy to Snoise (which therefore is about 3 sizes too big) that she is rolling around on the floor making tiger noises. Before this she was carrying around some orange juice because it matched the onesie and after this she 1) got caught in the curtains 2) presented herself in a variety of sexual position to M-Dog, made incredibly disturbing by the simultaneous associations with bestiality and paedophilia.

The subsequent door signs to aid future social interaction and working in the building

An old story

A tale just enumerated by Jolly about the last time she tried to meet Dribbles after one of her special nights out.


Both were heading  to the same house party.


Jolly:  shall we meet up to go to the party?
Dribbles: yes I will meet you!
Jolly: where are you? where should we meet?
Dribbles: Il meet you on the way. if we are both walking in the same direction we will find each other...
Jolly: no....where are you??


Jolly did not meet Dribbles. It conspired that not only does the"if we walk in the same direction we will meet" hypothesis prove false, it proves especially false if one of you (Dribbles) is still in the bar...stuck on top of a vending machine...eventually needing to be rescued. 

"Did I pinky promise you a dance?"

Before the club 

Shimmey drops her bag down the back of the bar seating. Needs Enigma, Snoopy and a golf club to get it out. While they were making these efforts Dribbles and Ballface posed for photos next to (and occasionally groped (or in Dribbles case, dribbled on) Snoopys arse. 

In an effort to make Good Aids go clubbing

Shimmey: COME CLUBBING!

Good Aids: im not dressed for clubbing

Shimmey: WEAR MY CLOTHES! THE DRESS! ITS CLEAN! at least i think its clean....

* Good Aids is forced to change and comes out clubbing*

In an effort to make Bushhead go clubbing, he is grabbed by Enigma  and Snoopy (one has an injured knee, the other an injured ankle) and half carried, half dragged down the stairs and half way up the street before making a DRAMATIC escape and SPRINTING all the way home

*********************************

Conversations in the club

In the queue for a club

Ball-Face: (to the bouncer) can i take a picture with you

Bouncer: no my reflective jacket means i wont take a very good picture

Ball-Face: that's okay i just want one of you face...

eventually this leads to a pinky promise being made - that the bouncer would have his picture taken with J when they were both in insde the club

a bit later...

Ball-Face walks up to a random bouncer

"did i pinky promise you a dance?"

Dribbles looks over to the "cool kids" 

D: can we go dance with them! can we go dance with the cool people!

Snoise: won't that just be really embarrassing! we never talk to them

D: But I want to dance with the COOL people!

Snoise to M-Dog, alcohol+loud music : where have you been

M-Dog: I AM M-DOG

Snoise: I SAID where have you been?

M-Dog: IM DOG

snoise: NO I SAID WHERE??

M- Dog: WHY DONT YOU KNOW ME?

****************************************


2am back home


Shimmey "i can hear music"
Enigma "it's coming from this wall"
Shimmey checks the room... "it's not coming from this room"
Enigma, walks down corridor "i think it's coming from downstairs, i can still hear it here"
Shimmey notes that the music has got quiter by the wall "Engima! It's coming from you!!"
E "no it's not"
S "yes it is!"
E "if it was coming from me the only thing i have that...oh" takes phone out of pocket to find it playing music "let's see, it's been going for 18 songs"

You will be sorry- a drunken message on a mirror.

Post "What did you want to be" incident discussions.

The next Day.... 


A made up scenario: Faceboy to Shimmey: hippo
Snoise: you were doing impressions of a hippo
Faceboy: no she tried to steal a hippo from the zoo
Snoise: yes, after we wouldnt believe her hippo impressions she decided to go get one to prove us wrong
Faceboy: and then she came back with Terry....disclaimer I am not really calling Terry a hippo. 


Suggestions on how to stop Shimmey's drunken incidents


1) Instead of helping, leave her in a middle of the field in the recovery position to teach her a lesson
2) A responsible person is in charge of her money and only they can buy her drinks
3) Ban her from Prelash. She can prelash alone in her room with a prescribed amount of alcohol
4) Tape her mouth shut...with cellotape...its see through so drunk people wont notice or it will look like lip gloss. Will also solve other boy related issues. 
5) Penalty system: fines? free drinks? free cakes? buy a big issue? 

The "What did you want to be" party

A Gold Digger, a Circus freak, a tutor, a couple of bank robbers  a lumber jack and Terry, dressed as...Terry deal with the consequences of todays binge drinking culture. 


Snoise to Shimmey: I thought you gave up shame for new years? *Shimmey attempts to kiss Snoise*


Snoise facebook status: cant believe they facebook raped me while i was calling 999.


upon discovering this Snoise slaps Snoopy round the face and takes him into the room where Shimmey is paralyetic and forces him to hold her hand
Snoopy: shes just doing it for attention......ooooowwww shes hurting me!


Snoise is forced to sit on Shimmey as she begins to attack Dribbles 


Snoise: Shimmey...stop molesting Enigma's leg
Enigma: Why isnt she letting go?
Snoise: Maybe she loves you
Shimmey (semi concious): YES...no...well maybe
Snoise: Well thats a bit awkward


Snoise text to friend: My night: Bushhead has copped off with Catwoman, I have spent the last 2 hours looking after Shimmey and while I was on the phone to emergency services i was facebook raped. FML.


Terry's prize quotes throughout the night: can i have some chips?
Good Aids: Terry you cant walk so you cant go gets chips. You can have some bread
Terry: you know what would be amazing CHIPBREAD...someone get me some chipbread!
Good Aids: Terry, theres no such thing as chipbread.


Terry: I am a KING...I have my throne...I have my water...I 've got my followers....I have my royal cameraman and I have the biggest fucking kingdom of all of Worcestershire!


"you can call me Mr President"


"hey he just hung up on me!... What. A. Bitch."


"i have a perfectly good reason for all the things i have done tonight"


"you dont know me...you dont know my past"


" I am a respected member of the historical community"


"It was like that time i went to this archive, and they said they didnt have a source and i was like THE FUCK YOU DONT but they they didnt and they were angry"


"I dont like toast as a general principle but if you were to make me a cheese toasty i wouldnt say no"


"sorry babe, looks like its a one way ticket....NOOOOOORGGHHHHH"


"ITS A TRAP...ITS A TRAP...ITS A TRAP... but is it?


Faceboy's Facebook status: A night: Amount of drunken-ness witnessed - Much. Stuff collected - Hat, Wig, Guitar, Axe... Pen. Productive.

Work Experience

Corporate event + free bar = drunken phone call to Shimmey form Bushhead


About Terry; "he gives legendary feelings off, i love him"


"it's because I'm beautiful"


"it's why you like Snoopy - he's a man woman, I've spent many a night in his room"


Bushhead "I've just seen people dressed up as Robin Hood, they're wearing green and red"
Shimmey "do you think maybe, since it's Christmas, that they are in fact elves?!"
Bushhead "ah yes, elves. ELVES! I love elves!"

Terry's Chocolate Orange

Terry to Bushhead early hours of the morning : Come to the kitchen quickly!
Bushhead runs to the kitchen : Whats happening! Whats wrong!
Terry: Would you like to eat some cucumber with me?

Later


Terry wanted a chocolate orange.
Orange + Nutella kind of equals a chocolate orange.

Unfortunately its quite hard to eat an orange covered in chocolate spread
and it would probably have been nicer without the skin still on.

Not Sorry

It's funnier out of context

Shimmey: I've got one hand for you and one for you... NO you're doing it wrong; it's not up and down it's side to side...You go down while i go up.

Sometimes there's nothing better to do at university than drink and play wii games until 2am.

Epiphany

An excuse for just sitting around and drinking.


SHIMMEY to SNOISE: sweet. so last night i a) decided that it was necessary for me to kiss M-Dog b) to strip, throw my clothes at Good-Aids and demand she wears them c) complain about my life to Enigma d) cause general chaos and get drink everywhere. and here i was thinking the evening had been pretty uneventful

New Year's Eve

Sent on NYE by BUSHHEAD: "Lashed and laid. Damn im good" and in response to the party the day after "House party + Sauna + NO threesomes = win"


M-DOG, sent at 3pm: "wish you a driving a very happy new year. try not to end up in a toilet. its me of course, wel bring in the new yeat with style. am i not the very definition of style??"